Tuesday, October 2, 2018

Special People: Why Listening to the Disabled is One Way to Combat Bullying

by Nomad

I hope you won't mind that I decided to take a small break from politics in order to share a recent YouTube discovery. I have literally spent hours in the last week, watching video after video, sometimes laughing and sometimes with eyes full of tears.

I feel enriched- for want of a better word- as a result of meeting some pretty awesome people. If you have the spare time to watch some of the videos, it will be worth every second.

How to Enable Bullies

For many of us, as jaded as we think we are, it is still difficult and depressing to understand that we live in a world in which bullies (and villains) often go unpunished.
It offends my sense of justice.
We live in a world where such people can even become presidents and still worse, where their perverted and intolerant notions can become public policy.

To make matters worse, we also live in a world where bullying is allowed to metastasize among our most vulnerable. A major part of the problem could be that we live in a culture that rewards the superficial outer appearance and in doing so, devalues the inner qualities. 
In some respects, whenever we accept this view of the world unchallenged, we all become enablers to bullies.

According to studies by Yale University, victims of bullying are between 2 to 9 times more likely to consider suicide than non-victims.  
Suicide, according to the Center for Disease Control (CDC), suicide is the third leading cause of death for 15- to 24-year-olds  and results in approximately 4,600 lives lost each year. For every suicide among young people, there are at least 100 suicide attempts. Over 14 percent of high school students have considered suicide, and almost 7 percent have attempted it.

It is sad to say but until our society becomes more tolerant and rewards kindness and empathy on the same scale as we applaud physical beauty, there will always be these kinds of preventable tragedies.
As author Neil Gaiman has said:
Empathy is a tool for building people into groups, for allowing us to function as more than self-obsessed individuals.

Special People

Chris Ulmer is the founder and CEO of a 501(c)3 organization called Special Books by Special Kids. It is not a large operation. His fiance, Alyssa Porter is the executive director. And except for their rescued dog/mascot, Noodles, there are no other members of staff (as far as I could tell.) 

The mission of Special Books by Special Kids (SBSK) is very simple- to give a social media voice to people born with afflictions and disabilities. Or as Chris says in the opening of each of the videos:
to prove no matter how you communicate or what obstacles you face, you're always deserving of love and acceptance
Many of the men and women Chris has interviewed have handicaps, some of those handicaps are quite severe and disfiguring. Not all of them are able to articulate their ideas clearly in words. Each of them has a unique story to share.

Some people might find their appearance disturbing. If so, that's perfectly normal. In fact, that's the whole point. We are all used to seeing only young and beautiful people presented as the standard we must all attain.

First, here's Chris explaining how SBSK came about.


Chris' mission is best summed up by this quote from Irish writer and academic, Sinéad Burke:
Disability is articulated as a struggle, an unnecessary burden that one must overcome to the soundtrack of a string crescendo. But disabled lives are multi-faceted - brimming with personality, pride, ambition, love, empathy, and wit.

Ashley

Ashley's path to self-acceptance has been a long and often difficult one. "Bullying, she tells Chris, "is a nasty thing to go through." And she has had more than her share. 
"When I was bullied, my confidence came down quite a lot. I didn't like going out..The one main thing I would change about this community and the world is to stop bullying."
Today, Ashley has a message for her bullies. "I am not a troll. I am a nice person." 


Andy and Jameson

Now meet Andy, who is deaf and was diagnosed with Goldenhar syndrome. and his brother, Jameson, who was born with Treacher Collins
When asked about his wish, Andy says Chris it would be for the world to give him that one chance 
"because I would take that chance and run with it and just be my fullest self and show the world my personality and not be afraid of the world I live in." 


Biffin and Turner

Here's Chris's short but touching interview with brothers, Biffin and Turner. Together they embody the concept of brotherly love.



Angela

Now meet Angela. Her neurofibromatosis has left her with a nonsymmetrical face and prosthetic eye. In her interview, she discusses the lasting and damaging effects that bullying has had on her own self-confidence. She owes her survival to her amazing support of friends and family and her own courage and sense of self-worth.
  

Brandon

Brandon is one of the most articulate of Chris' subjects. Diagnosed with a rare form of dwarfism known as metatropic dysplasia, Brandon is exactly 45 inches tall but in terms of personality, he is a giant. 
He describes his high school experience like this:
I was the target of extensive cyber bullying, extensive harassment, starting the very first week of high school. I really thought that I was someone who could disappear and it wouldn't leave a hole but that absolutely is not the case for me, for you, for anybody.

Chris and Alyssa have traveled across the country and abroad to interview hundreds of people.
I created this playlist of my personal favorites.