The Koch Brothers and the Opening of the Gates of Hell

by Nomad

An insane tabloid article from 1995 proclaims that Hell has released its laid-off work force. And very soon, says a mystic, the demons will be making the earthly realm their home.
Laughable? Yes, Ridiculous? Of course. But then again, let's look at what was happening in 1995.

I found this silly article in the November 21, 1995 issue of the now-defunct Weekly World News.

It's pretty standard fare for a tabloid, along with special diets and the latest travails of Bat Boy. 

(Like the half-boy, half bat, the Reverend Magnist of St. Paul also appears to be a non-existent character. At least, there was no trace of him online.)

I like the part where it says:

"We can expect to see two very ugly results of downsizing [in Hell]... First, demons will be appearing more often. We'll be seeing the reddish horned creatures everywhere...Secondly, more people will be going insane as the spirits of the demons take possession of their minds and bodies.."

Christian theology with a capitalistic spin. At the end, the mystic added  that we all must be on guard against these demons on the loose "whether they keep their own hideous bodies or take over those of our fellow human."

But suppose just for a second (and no longer) we take this seriously. What was going on in 1995 to support the Reverend's notions? 

Hmmm, let's see what a little research uncovers...

As one source reminds us, this was actually an important moment in the Republican party. Around this time, the Koch brothers set up a shell company called Triad Management which was used to funnel millions in secret money to help the Republican Party. 

Over His Dead Body: Jamaican Corpse Kept on Ice for 7 years due to Family Row

by Nomad

Nomadic Politics travels to the Caribbean to report this story about how a family squabble has left one dead millionaire on ice since before Obama became president.

Here's a small story that caught my attention. 

According to an article in the Jamaican Observer, seven years have passed since an unnamed local man died and yet today his body is still being kept in storage at a downtown Kingston funeral home. 

To top it off, even now, nobody is quite sure when the man will ever be properly interred. 

The reason? 

An ongoing dispute about money between family members. 

Mr. Michael Jones, the director of the funeral home, says he has run out of patience. After waiting since 2007, he is now is threatening to take legal action against the family to recover millions of dollars, he says, he is owed for storage fees. 

Back in 2007 things seemed to be going smoothly. After the initial negotiations the discussions with family members seemed to finalize things, claims Jones, But then, there was some kind of problem. According to Jones, the family suddenly became unable (or unwilling) to bring him the necessary documents and payments to allow him to proceed with the burial. And that's how things have stood since that time. 

Jones claimed that, at the time, family members requested that the man be buried and promised that payments would be made at a later date. But he said he refused to do that.

The funeral director says that in more than 20 years of business, he has never seen anything like this. He has encountered similar cases in the past where people were unable to pay for the costs. And obligingly- though probably not happily, he has in the past offered to write off the expenses. It's one of the things that comes with the job. 

However, this case, he claims, is quite different. 

Mistaken Identity and Monkey Suit Mayhem

by Nomad

Taking a break from the political scene, for a moment. I saw this article about a case of mistaken identity at a zoo in Tenerife. 

Zoo Fail: Man 'in Gorilla Suit' Shot in Training Drill

A Spanish zoo worker who dressed up in a gorilla costume as part of a drill was rushed to hospital after one of the vets mistook him for a real ape and shot him with a tranquilizer rifle.

The case of mistaken identity took place at the Loro Parque zoo in the

Canary island of Tenerife on Wednesday.

As part of a drill to find out how to deal with the potential escape of one of the park’s apes, one of the workers dressed up in a gorilla costume to make the whole scenario all the more believable.

Unfortunately for him, one of the vets must have not been informed about what was happening.

When he saw a furry 'beast' outside its cage, he quickly grabbed his rifle and shot it, or him, with a narcotic dose meant for a 200-kilo mammal.

The man not only fell to the ground like a ton of bricks, he also suffered an allergic reaction which made his condition all the more serious, La Opinión de Tenerife reported.

When emergency services arrived at the scene, they found him lying unconscious in his underpants.

On Friday, a Loro Parque spokesperson denied the man was in a gorilla suit and said the tranquilizer rifle had simply misfired. His condition is now stable and local authorities are investigating how the unfortunate event happened, given that there was a risk assessment team present at the zoo when the drill took place.

Victimhood Chutzpah: SUV Driver Sues Family After Fatal Cycling Accident

by Nomad

A Canadian driver has opened a legal case in an Ontario Superior Court against the family of a teenage accident victim. Demanding compensation of over $1 million, she claims the tragic event has lessened her "enjoyment of life." 

In Hebrew, there's a good word for it. Chutzpah.  It means "extreme arrogance, brazen presumption." 

What other word can express the audacity of the motorist, who after hitting and killing a teenage bicyclist, has now decided to sue the estate of the boy's family for over $1 million? That takes a hell of a lot of nerve.

The Ottawa Citizen reports that lawyers for Sharlene Simon filed the claim last December in Ontario Superior Court, alleging that she “has sustained and will sustain great pain and suffering,” including “a severe shock to her system.” On top of that, according to the court documents, Simon's  "enjoyment of life has been and will be lessened.”

WTF: Spiderman Unleashes Butterfly Attack on Bulgarian Parliament

by Nomad

A odd bit of news from Bulgaria.

Now if this news story doesn't convince you that the world of politics is a strange place, nothing will.

Bulgaria news is reporting:

A man wearing a Spiderman mask released five boxes of butterflies in a corridor of Bulgaria’s Parliament on March 6 2014. Reporters in Parliament said that the man refused to answer questions about his actions as he tried to leave the building. He was held by security guards.

According to Bulgarian media, it was probably more related to a promotional stunt related to a television show rather than a political statement

The man apparently gained access with the proper permission from Socialist Party MP Petar Kurumbashev. The Parliament member denied knowing anything about the butterfly stunt.

Snezhana Dukova, an MP for centre-right opposition GERB, expressed outrage at the incident, saying that Parliament was not a terrarium.

Krassimir Velchev, also of GERB, said that “I also love animals, they are very beautiful, but every animal should know its place. I love lions and pumas too, but does this mean that someone should bring them to Parliament?”

And most Americans think the law of the jungle only applied to the US Congress. If the same thing happened in Washington, it would be up to Rep. Darrell Issa to launch another expensive but pointless investigation to find out how much did Obama know about the butterfly scandal and when did he know it. 

---

Misplaced Priorities in Indiana: Bambi-Gate, Canned Hunting and the Zombie Deer Plague

by Nomad

Bambi-Gate

Here's a story by Mike Adams from InformationLiberation.com that provides some insight on perhaps why so many people hate so-called Big Government.

An Indiana couple saved a wounded baby deer and nursed it back to life, saving its life and giving it a home. They named it "Little Orphan Dani." When Indiana state officials got word of this courageous act of compassion, they ordered the deer euthanized. (Because government wants to kill everything you love.)

When the deer "escaped" right before it was schedule to be killed -- and yes, I think the couple probably set it free rather than have it killed -- the man and woman were charged with unlawful possession of a deer. 

They now face $2,000 in fines and 60 days in jail.

For more details about Bambi-gate, you can go to the ABC news story. Imagine being in jail and explaining to all the hardened convicts that you are behind bars for nursing a baby deer back to health.