Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts

Thursday, February 16, 2017

11 Smart Ass Questions I'd Like to Ask Trump's Press Secretary, Sean Spicer

by Nomad

Trump Spicer

As Donald Trump's press secretary, Sean Spicer's take-no-prisoners style came as a bit of a shock to reporters who had gotten used to the laid-back demeanor of Obama's Josh Earnest.
We got used to a lot of nice things in the Obama administration, like civility, well-presented facts and, more importantly, a lack of covert Russian involvement in US politics.
Alas, those good old days are gone.

Of course, in his position, Spicer is supposed to represent Trump and in that regard, he does succeed. Spicer's  hyper-aggressive adversarial manner is an accurate reflection of his boss' distaste for journalism that refuses to flatter him and refuses to ask only nice questions.

I don't know what it is but there's something about Spicer's bully behavior that brings out my juvenile smarty-pants side. Admittedly it never takes very much.

So, to get that out of my system, I composed a list of eleven questions that I would enjoy asking Spicer if the White House would ever be insane enough to let me in the door.


1. Who told you that it was a good idea to open your first press conference by saying "Okay, which of you incompetent assholes wants to ask me something?"

2. Have you always been a jerk? Is it the effect of deep insecurity?

3. So, how much longer do you think you'll be able to hold onto this position? (Follow-up: Do you plan to resign or let Trump fire you?)

4.. Who cut your hair? Is it on purpose? 

5. Is mocking laughter frowned upon in the White House briefing room or should we all just step outside?

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

The Republican Party's Suicide Squad: Is Hollywood Taking the Mickey out of the GOP?

by Nomad

The plot of the summer blockbuster, Suicide Squad, seems so familiar for some reason. 


As far as I can remember, I haven't done a film review on this blog. 
There are reasons for that. I have been called a snob when it comes to film preferences. The kinds of films I usually like are not what most people do.
"Quirky tastes," I think was how one person defined by film preferences. I wouldn't deny that.
So I lay off the film critiques.

The last film I sized up was as a budding journalist at my high school newspaper. I wrote that "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" was a better film than "Star Wars." ("What's up with that chick's hair??")
And that pretty much ended my career as a film reviewer. 
In any case, there's a new film about to be released that caught my attention.  Technically, since I haven't actually seen the film, this is actually more a comment on a film than a review of it.

Here's a synopsis of the new film Suicide Squad:
Assemble a team of the world’s most dangerous, incarcerated Super Villains, provide them with the most powerful arsenal at the government’s disposal, and send them off on a mission to defeat an enigmatic, insuperable entity.
It's yet another one of those films based on comic books for audiences that like that sort of thing. Frankly I am getting sick to death of them when there are so many more interesting stories to tell.
Just say it already. "Snob!"


Sunday, February 14, 2016

The Power of the Beat

by Nomad

Never ever underestimate the power of the beat.


Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Economics and Cookies

by Nomad


If there's no animation to this image, just click to open it in a new window and it should play. 

Thursday, March 5, 2015

Tomorrow's Headlines? Congressional Investigation Panel Demands Hillary's Letters to Grandmother

 by Nomad

Sometimes the real news needs no parody, but that didn't stop me for posting this.


Okay so this isn't real news but would you really be shocked if you heard this on the news tomorrow?

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Benghazi 2.0 and The Republican Party in Action!

by Nomad

Nothing means success to the Congressional Republicans like last year's failure. They've just declared the wild goose chase known as Benghazi will re-commence and taxpayers can expect more time and money to be wasted.


Despite a definitive report which found absolutely no validity to any of the wild allegations made by Republicans, the GOP in House has decided to reconvene the Select Committee on Benghazi later this year. 
Using their majority, the Republican procedurally dismissed Democrat's rejections, by preventing any debate on the continuation of the special panel. Furthermore the panel was given an open budget and no limits for its work. 

As Yahoo points out, this one panel alone (there were at one time five ongoing committee investigations on this one event) cost "upwards of $1 million to operate last Congress, when the House voted to establish it."

Sunday, August 3, 2014

Spoofing Palin's New Money-Grabbing Gimmick

by Nomad


If honesty were a priority in politics, this is what Sarah Palin's new channel would actually look like.


Alas, parting the fools from their money seems to be a full time occupation with some politicians nowadays. 

Saturday, June 7, 2014

Mistaken Identity and Monkey Suit Mayhem

by Nomad

Taking a break from the political scene, for a moment. I saw this article about a case of mistaken identity at a zoo in Tenerife




Zoo Fail: Man 'in Gorilla Suit' Shot in Training Drill

A Spanish zoo worker who dressed up in a gorilla costume as part of a drill was rushed to hospital after one of the vets mistook him for a real ape and shot him with a tranquilizer rifle.

The case of mistaken identity took place at the Loro Parque zoo in the
Canary island of Tenerife on Wednesday.

As part of a drill to find out how to deal with the potential escape of one of the park’s apes, one of the workers dressed up in a gorilla costume to make the whole scenario all the more believable.
Unfortunately for him, one of the vets must have not been informed about what was happening.
When he saw a furry 'beast' outside its cage, he quickly grabbed his rifle and shot it, or him, with a narcotic dose meant for a 200-kilo mammal.
The man not only fell to the ground like a ton of bricks, he also suffered an allergic reaction which made his condition all the more serious, La Opinión de Tenerife reported.
When emergency services arrived at the scene, they found him lying unconscious in his underpants.

On Friday, a Loro Parque spokesperson denied the man was in a gorilla suit and said the tranquilizer rifle had simply misfired. His condition is now stable and local authorities are investigating how the unfortunate event happened, given that there was a risk assessment team present at the zoo when the drill took place.


Monday, April 1, 2013

Talking Goat Claims Sarah Palin is Actually the Anti-Christ

antichrist



(reprinted from Nomadic View for the special April Fools post)
HEILONGJIANG PROVINCE, CHINA-

The news of Kah-Kah, a five-year-old Hailun breed of domesticated goat, has astounded scientists around the world in what seems to be the first true and verifiable case of intelligent animal speech. And apparently, the goat had an important announcement.

Hao Wei Yuan, his owner, told reporters, "I was in the rice field and I heard somebody calling my name. There was nobody. Only Kah-Kah. Then I understood that it was goat's voice."

After Wei Yuan brought the goat to his home, his wife and children refused to have any thing to with the animal. "They were frightened and told me to kill it. She say You go and kill it. Kill it.' But I could not do."

And yet the strangest part was yet to come. US biology professor Emery Bohred from Stanford University heard of the strange phenomenon, while on a tour of farms in late 2008. Naturally he decided to make the long journey to the isolated region to see for himself. "I admit, I didn't believe it. I thought it was all a wild goat chase. I mean, seriously, a talking goat? At best, I thought it would be making random sounds that could possibly sound like words. I was not prepared for this."

When Bohred arrived, what he discovered astounded him. "It was actually speaking English. Not merely sounds but full words strung together as sentences. That's something I hadn't heard before. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. " The goat would spend hours chatting with local villagers under the Yam-yam tree in a variety of dialects but even the owners were stunned to hear the goat address the American strangers in their own language.

"Initially, the goat refused to answer any direct questions and kept changing the subject. For a Capra aegagrus hircus, it was quite obtuse."

Even today, whenever Professor Bohred talks about Kah-Kah, his face still lights up with child-like wonder. "You can't imagine my reaction. Kah-Kah actually asked me questions about where I was from, if I was married and my age. The goat even translated Chinese jokes into English, but I didn't quite see the humor. " (Bohred attributes this to a cultural, rather than any inter-species, gap. )

After recovering from the shock, Bohred asked Wei Yuan for permission to examine the goat more intensively. In the following three months, Bohred conducted a wide variety of experiments to determine how Kah-Kah might have developed such a capacity.

"I suspect it is genetic." speculated Bohred, "I am still uncertain."

There was one thing that Kah-Kah kept repeating. At first, Bohred noted, it was only a name. "Sarah Palin. "

(Oddly the goat's accent seemed to have an artificial Minnesota dialect.)

"When I showed that I recognized the name, the goat clearly stated, 'Sarah Palin is the Anti-Christ.' For three days in March 2009, Kah-Kah continued to repeat that same sentence over and over. "From morning until night, like a broken record. I thought I would lose my mind. "

"And then, suddenly without any explanation, the goat was silent." Bohred explained to reporters at a press conference. Wei Yuan, at his family insistence, finally slaughtered Kah-Kah in November 2010.

Yuan told reporters:
"My wife, she very angry with me. She say me ancient Chinese proverb. 'Just because an ass can speak. it doesn't mean you have to listen.' "

There was, unfortunately, no record of the goat's last words. However, according to village sources, Kah-Kah was broiled with liberal amounts of ginger and garlic and made a splendid dinner for nine.


Sunday, March 17, 2013

Suggestion for the 2014 Republican Party Advertising

Republican Campaign ad for 2014by Nomad


I thought I would offer this early suggestion for campaign advertising for the 2014 mid-terms. Looks like the Republican Party is going to need every bit of help it can get.

Feel free to copy and paste or link this image wherever you like.

Consider this post and open thread.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Sarah Palin vs. Madonna

Sarah Palin - Nomadic Politics

If you like this post, be sure to retweet it for me. Thanks.